Underneath it all
by KHwhitelion
Summary: They were never good at expressing emotions. But that doesn't mean they can't love. CoxJordan
1. Chapter 1

**Happy Valentine's day, everyone!!**

**As it is such (or will be tomorrow) I've decided, just because I love 'holidays' like this, to write something, as a sort of 'gift' to all my readers!!**

**And this time, I've chosen the [Scrubs] fandom!! Targeting my favorite pairing (next to the one-sided JD x Denise) Dr. Cox x Jordan!!!!!**

**I adore their love/hate relationship, and their characters, as well as seeing such cold and sarcastic people come together and actually love. I know a lot of people out there prefer JD x Dr. Cox, but come on! Jordan's always gonna be the only woman in his life!! He undoubtedly loves her, and just because my crazy shipper mind was active, I decided to write this quick little two-shot!**

**Enjoy!**

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**Dr. Cox's POV**

You'd gone to bed before I got home tonight. I could hear your steady breathing coming from our bedroom, even before I set foot through the doorway. I know I should probably be upset—what with everything that's been happening to me recently. My new job as chief of medicine, for example. I was actually hoping you'd be up for a change, sitting on the living room sofa; your dark eyes and that crystal clear smile of yours welcoming me home. I really needed someone to talk to, and you're probably—hell, you _are_—the person who understands me the most. But the living room was empty when I entered it. No shining, fiery pupils waiting for me, no bright, whitened smile….no _you_. Just the sound of your chest, rising and falling, as you traveled through what Newbie would refer to as "dreamland."

I _should_ be mad—furious, actually….but I'm not. Not the slightest bit. Even as I silently tread through our home alone, kicking off my shoes and preparing myself for a long night of tedious paperwork, not one flicker of rage crosses my mind. And I think that's because, though my—our—lives have been hectic lately, the only thing I _am_ able to think of are all the times you _have_ been there for me. Even now, as I lie under the covers—my work finally complete—running my fingers through your caramel colored hair, my eyes gazing at the soft skin peeking out from your nightgown as you sleep, I realize just how lost I'd be without you here with me.

While that's embarrassing for me to admit, I really do appreciate it. Because, quite frankly, you've made a huge difference in my life. That post-divorce sex we had before getting back together, giving my two beautiful children, and more recently, standing by me and my decision to become the new chief of medicine at Sacred Heart.

Alright, so maybe you had more say in it than I did at first….if you hadn't taken it upon yourself to push old Bobbo into changing my mind, I wouldn't be where I am now. I wouldn't have the position I do now. Wouldn't be absolutely confident that I, and I alone, can provide for our family in the future, now that you've retired from being a board member.

I….I'm thankful for everything you've done for me, I really am. And yes, I know I don't have the best way of showing it, but hell, it goes both ways. We argue back and forth on a daily basis, constantly at each other's throats—always throwing around insults and accusations….

….however, you know as well as I do that the way we act isn't out of hatred. It's out of love.

Because, though we may have our differences and our past is filled with rough patches and damaging memories—none of which we can undo….I love you, Jordan. You'll always be the only woman for me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Jordan's POV**

He thinks I'm asleep right now. But that's fine—in fact, I prefer it that way. I can't stand it when he gets like this….acting all sensitive. It's so….uncomfortable for me, to see this….this brick wall of a man being so humane. I'm just not used to it. Feeling his strong fingers weaving through the strands of my hair….how do I react to something like that? Turn around, swat it away and scream at him to leave me alone?

While that _would_ typically be my first choice, I…I just couldn't do that to him. Not when he's like this….

….it wouldn't be right.

Besides….I….I kind of…._enjoy_ this soft side of him, no matter how uncomfortable it may be for me to deal with. It proves that, underneath that hard, jackass surface of his there's a man in there who does have a heart, who _does_ care. And even if it's only in these rare moments where that man shines through, it's nice to see him once in a while. Because it reassures me that I've made the right decision in my choice to stand by him. That the one time I followed my heart's advice, it didn't steer me wrong.

The angry, unstable son of a bitch I was foolish enough to marry _has_ changed over time. Where he once would have cringed at the thought of expressing any form of emotion, he can now break through his herd exterior and show me he does, in fact, love me. I need that, I really do.

I mean, sure, I sometimes make impossible demands on him, and yes, I tend to PMS more and more often as we grow older….

….and even though I'm now the one who has difficulty opening up, I'm still a woman. I still _feel_. Whether I display it or not.

Most importantly, I….I still care about him. I honestly and truthfully do—always have. And, as I lay here, feeling the bed sheets crinkle around me as he moves and settles down, I realize I always will.

I love you, Perry Cox.

Goodnight.

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**Awwww so sweet!**

**Dr. Cox x Jordan forever!!**

**I personally think there aren't enough fanfics of these two. **

**Too much JD x Dr. Cox in my opinion. Ah well.**

**Happy Valentine's day, everyone!!**


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